Loneliness Epidemic: Uncovering the Hidden Crisis
"Who's going to take care of my dog when I die?"
Callers have revealed some very personal things to me throughout my time volunteering at a loneliness support helpline, but for some reason this was the first time I welled up.
I was speaking with a middle-aged man living in rural Western Australia. He told me he has cancer and probably has one year to live. I was the second person after his Mum who he’d told this to; he had no-one else to talk to at that moment, and just wanted to tell someone else.
A few weeks ago was the first Loneliness Awareness Week in Australia, which aims to bring to our attention the prevalence and misconceptions of loneliness in our society, and what we can do to overcome it ourselves, as well as help others suffering from it.
Ending Loneliness Together (ELT) recently conducted research into loneliness, surveying more than 4,000 adults in Australia between June and July 2023. ELT found that ACT residents, younger Australians (18-24) and middle-aged people (45-54) are the loneliest in the country (which was contrary to my instinctive belief that older people would be the loneliest). The impact on the above age demographics are backed by the BBC Loneliness Experiment which surveyed approximately 50,000 people from 237 different countries between 16 and 99 years of age, finding that young people were lonelier than the middle-aged, who were lonelier than older people.
A critical note to make about loneliness is that it isn’t necessarily about being alone. You may be surrounded by people, and yet still feel that your companionship, friendship or intimacy needs are not being met. Conversely, you may not be surrounded by many people and not feel lonely at all. This is why loneliness can be misunderstood – and clearly is, given that 47% believe that people would feel less lonely if they simply knew more people. Which is also why it can be difficult to realise who around us may be feeling lonely at any given point, although some signs could be:
Disconnection from others
General feelings of sadness
Lack of focus or concentration/appetite/sleep/energy.
Elements of loneliness may also be more existential and not necessarily due to lack of social connection only; this is a more complex topic, perhaps for another time.
Why are people lonely and what can be done about it?
There could be many reasons, some very specific to different individuals. It would be remiss of me to not mention social media as a potential cause, so I’ll touch on that briefly. There are mixed reports about problematic use of social media and its correlation with loneliness - there are no studies to show that problematic social media use predicts loneliness, however there are studies showing that loneliness predicts problematic social media use. And although social media may increase opportunities for social connectedness, it may also create an environment for social comparisons that magnify experiences of social isolation and loneliness.
Note: there are a lot of nuances, one of which is that the manner in which someone uses social media (eg: level of intensity) is also a variable that has an effect on levels of loneliness.
How connected we feel is more about depth of connection, then. Quality over quantity. A simple, yet extreme example that showed me this was when I tested out Replika when researching for this article. Replika is an AI 'companion' that is supposed to be able to have conversations with you. I tested it out for one night, so perhaps I didn’t give the algorithm enough time to respond in a way that I found interesting, but it definitely felt stilted and sterile.
Ways of managing loneliness:
Tips for coping with loneliness include:
Reaching out to a friend, family member, neighbor, or colleague and starting a conversation
Finding a community or support group online or using social media to connect with like-minded people
Practicing self-care and focusing on enjoyable activities
Using positive self-talk and acknowledging personal successes and good qualities
Volunteering in the community or with a local organization
Talking with a healthcare professional about feeling lonely.
If there’s one silver lining to feeling lonely, I’d say that it can offer poignant moments for reflection. In the past, if I’ve felt lonely, I’ve emerged with new ideas about who I am and what I want, simply because I’m forced to look inwards.
58% of Australians who feel lonely don’t talk to others about it. While you or someone you know may not seem to be lonely, it’s important that when we notice that feeling of loneliness in ourselves, that we treat it as a cue to connect with people who make us feel cared for and respected, and we make sure to check in with others who may be feeling the same way.
Until next time,
Aron
If you’d like professional help, some organisations that can help are:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Beyond Blue 1300 22 46 36
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Men’s Line 1300 789 978
Kids Helpline 1800 551 800
FriendLine 1800 424 287
If you’d like to volunteer at the loneliness support helpline or would just like a chat yourself, shoot me a message :)
References
Beautiful piece Aron. One can't help thinking that there's a correlation between the 18-24 yr age group feeling so lonely and this also being the group that uses social media the most